


Your Light Remains

by DAqueen15



Series: The Tale of Arya Amell [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amell (Dragon Age) is not a Warden, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Fenris/Hawke, Minor Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Panic Attacks, Rite of Tranquility, Romance, Slow Burn, implied cousland/alistair, minor female trevelyan/Josephine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-27 06:33:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12075480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DAqueen15/pseuds/DAqueen15
Summary: AU: Eliza Hawke arrives unexpectedly at Skyhold, promising to pledge herself as an agent of the Inquisition under one condition: They will attempt to reverse the Rite of Tranquillity on her cousin, Arya Amell.





	Your Light Remains

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had this series in my head for a very long time and I am extremely excited to finally start sharing it. Updates will probably be quite sporadic, but I am determined to see this through. Hope you enjoy!

_In the long hours of the night_  
_When hope has abandoned me,_  
_I will see the stars and know_  
_Your Light Remains._

\- Chant of Light, Canticle of Trials

 

Arya Amell's pounding footsteps seemed to echo as she ran across the barren landscape of the fade. Her long, dark hair flew wildly around her, sticking to her face where the tears poured down her cheeks.

The Fade shifted suddenly as her sanctuary came into view. It was just as she had left it last, a bizarre blend of library and garden which could have only existed within the Fade.

Arya drank in the sight, her eyes following the rows upon rows of tall bookshelves which outlined the chamber. A spiral staircase stood opposite her, leading up to a balcony which granted access to the second story of books, as well as an array of plush armchairs. Instead of a ceiling, the room opened up to the swirling colours of the Fade sky above. The centre of the chamber was dominated by a large willow tree, with low twisting branches. A grassy meadow full of wild flowers coated the floor like a carpet, surrounding a large pond on the far side of the room. Books floated haphazardly throughout the room between bookshelves, waiting to be plucked out of the air and read.

She and Eliza had constructed this sanctuary together as children; it was their safe haven, away from the prison of the circle and the fears and uncertainties of a life constantly on the run. Here, they had fantasised about one day meeting, but that could never happen now.

Arya came to an abrupt halt at the thought, fear and despair clawing at her chest. This would be the last time she would see her sanctuary, and it appeared to be empty. If Eliza wasn't here, Arya would never see her cousin again.

"Eliza?" She choked back a sob, "Eliza, w-where are you?"

"Over here Ari!" Eliza called, swinging her way down the spiral staircase, "What's got your knickers in twist, you never call me-" the words died in her throat as her amber eyes met Arya's blue.

"Ari? What happened?!" Eliza was at Arya's side in an instant, far faster than she would have managed outside of the fade. She gripped Arya's upper arm with one hand and tried to brush the tangled mess of hair out of her cousin's face with the other.

"He lied to m-me El, Jowan _lied_ ," Arya sobbed.

"What?"

"He's a blood mage El, and I helped him escape."

They had gone into the basement in search of their phylacteries. They had found Jowan's and destroyed it, but Arya's had already been sent to Denerim following her Harrowing. But that didn't matter; Jowan had assured her, he and Lily would help her escape. Maker, she had been such a _fool._

"We got caught and he left me behind and they're…they're going to make me _tranquil._ " Arya's knees buckled and she fell to the floor.

"No! They can't!" Eliza gasped, crouching in front of her cousin, pulling her hands away from her face and holding them tightly. "I won't let them… we'll come for you, Bethany, Carver and I, we'll break you out before they can-"

"No! You'll never make it in time El, and then you and Beth will be imprisoned here too, maker knows what they'd do to Carver."

"But-"

"Please, don't make this any worse than this has to be," she whispered.

Eliza pulled her younger cousin against her, wrapping her in her arms. The cousins sat that way for what felt like eternity, clinging to each other, making the most of their last moments together. Arya's sobs echoed through the fade as Hawke stroked her hair.

"They'll coming for me for me soon, I don't have much time." Arya took a deep breath, wiping her face. She looked up at Eliza resolute. "Promise me you won't come looking for me?"

"But-"

"I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you, and I… I don't want you to see me like _that._ Promise me?"

"I can’t just leave you-“

“Eliza, _please_.”

Eliza wanted to resist, to argue and fight until she was blue in the face, but the pleading, desperate look in her cousin’s eyes made her falter.  

“I…I promise.”

Arya sighed in relief. Trying to muster up a smile, she took Eliza’s face in her hands. "Goodbye El, I love you," she whispered.

"Wait! Not yet, don't g-" But  the figure of Arya Amell had already faded away, leaving Eliza Hawke kneeling alone in the fade.

* * *

"M-mage Amell?"

Arya knew that voice all too well. A voice that made her heart soar and butterflies flutter in her stomach. Soon, she'd never be able to feel that again. She'd never figure out if it was love or just an adolescent crush. She curled up tighter on the cold hard ground of the room that served as her cell, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to stop the flow of tears.

_Maker, not him. Not now._

Footsteps. A pause.

"Arya?"

In spite of herself, she turned to look up in surprise; he'd never used her given name before. Cullen was knelt beside her, uncertainty etched across his face. As their eyes meet, his eyes widened.

"I-I came as soon as I heard, I had to see you before- M-maker, I'm so sorry"

She laughed hollowly as she pulled herself into a sitting position with her back against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest.

"There's nothing to apologise for Cullen," she sniffed, trying to wipe the tears off of her face, unable to look Cullen in the eye. Maker, why couldn't she stop crying? "It's my own fault, I trusted the wrong person and now I'm to be made-" Choking back a sudden sob, she buried her face in her arms.

 _Tranquil._ The word hovered unspoken between them.

She heard the sound of plate hitting the floor before a warm, calloused hand gently grasped her upper arm. She gasped softly at the unexpected contact, before slowly looking up to meet his eye. She felt her heart stop at the look  of concern and devastation on his face.

It was the only kindness she had been shown since Jowan's escape. Despite everything, he still trusted her. To him, she wasn't a monster. To him, she was still Arya.

The thought was enough to tip her over the edge again, and somehow she was suddenly in his arms, sobbing hysterically against his chest-plate. Cullen hesitated for just a moment before awkwardly wrapping his arms around her, the sudden urgency of the situation had broken every boundary. He slowly rubbed her back with one hand, stroking her hair with the other. After a while, the sobs started to subside.

"I should have realised," Arya murmured against him.

"You couldn't have known."

Her hands balled into fists against his chest as she looked up, her blue eyes icy. "He was my best friend, my _brother_ , for seven years. We told each other everything! How could he keep that from me? I should have _known._ "

But Cullen still did not pull away, still gazing at her intently. Embarrassed, Arya took a deep breath looked down at her hands, slowly unclenching them.

"Why are you doing this? You should hate me."

"I could never hate you."

She looked up at him again, surprised to find the gentleness and sincerity in his eyes. This was closer than they'd ever been before; she'd never noticed the darker flecks of amber in his golden eyes before. Her heart hammered in her chest. If this was her last chance to feel like this, Maker be damned, she would not waste it. Lips parted, she moved her face closer, and, _Maker's breath_ , he wasn't moving away…

The sudden scraping of the key in the lock of the door broke the trance, and Arya leapt away from her Templar and back against the wall. She would not get him in trouble too.

"Ser Cullen, I thought I'd ordered you to stay in your quarters," Greagoir barked.

"B-but sir-"

"Silence! As I told you in my office, I will not change my mind. You are too close to this situation… _this_ _mage_." He sneered the words. "You will leave immediately."

Cullen took one last look at Arya. His sorrow evident.

" _Now,_ Cullen."

"I'm sorry, M-mage Amell." Cullen whispered.

Arya could not watch as he walked away from her. She barely noticed as they tied her wrists together and led her away. As if she could try to escape anyway, with them restraining her magic.

Irving stood there in the Harrowing Chamber, waiting for her execution party. He looked at her sadly; his star pupil, reduced to _this._  

Panic bubbled in her chest. "Irving, please, don't let them do this to me. I could-"

"I'm sorry, child," Maker, why did he have to look so disappointed in her, "This is the only way"

"Mage Arya Amell," Greagoir barked, "You knowingly aided the escape of a blood mage."

"I didn't-"

"Silence! You have proven yourself untrustworthy and a danger to the circle. You will be subjected to the rite of tranquillity, for the safety of yourself and others.”

Arya had finally run out of tears, but couldn't stop herself from shaking uncontrollably.

Greagoir approached her, lifting the lyrium brand to her forehead. “Consider this an act of mercy.”

Arya squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on her remaining emotions, savouring each one.

 _Love._ Eliza, her only true family, who’d taught her to climb trees in the Fade, and could make her cry with laughter.  
_Anger_. Jowan, her friend, her _brother,_ who had lied and betrayed her, leaving her alone to this fate.  
_Joy._ The sneaked glances, smiles and blushes with Cullen in the library. The thrill of their secret chess games in the dead of night.   
_Sadness._ There were so many things she’d never experience. So many things she’d never get to feel.  
_Wonder._ The rush of magic through her veins as she healed a wound, or brought ice to her fingertips.  
_Fear._ What would become of her now? Would any fragment of her remain?

And then Arya Amell felt no more.


End file.
